Happy Dogs, the song from the play

It’s freezing
You wouldn’t leave a dog out
And yet
Here we are
Waiting
Minus five on the pavement, luxury kennel scene
White poodles, black poodles, all polished and clean
Little coats on the dogs, same cut as their queens
I’m the only idiot here without anything
Thought I’d just go downstairs, be back in a flash
Happy Dogs opens at ten — quick in, quick dash
Now it’s quarter past and the door’s still closed
And I’m stuck with the dogs and my frozen toes
She’ll show up with excuses, cheap little lies
Missed the bus… sick kid… mother just died
My condolences, sure
Take your time if you must
But in the meantime
I’m freezing my nuts off in trust

You’re thinking: what’s he doing here
No dog, no reason, nothing clear
Even my haircut’s once a year
So why the hell am I standing here

Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Everybody waiting at the door
Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Humans acting just like dogs
Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Drop it off, pick it up, want more
Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Different leash, same old chore

I’m not here chatting up grandmas in line
I’m just picking up a package that’s supposedly mine Drop-off point, that’s the deal these days
City centers dying in a thousand ways
Corner shops, florists, mini-marts on life support
Holding on a little longer before they abort
Any place can be a pickup zone
Except maybe sex shops… or a funeral home
Yeah it’s practical, sure,
I won’t complain
Better than queuing in the post office lane
But at least there I’d be warm inside
Me and the dogs — equal in the cold outside

Same queue… same cold
Different species… same role

Here comes a kid, hoodie tight on his head
Sweating in winter like he just fled
Pulls out keys slow from his shapeless coat
Tries them all wrong — yeah, that’s his approach
Says his alarm clock didn’t ring today
Like he’s the victim in some tragic play
We should sue clocks for refusing to scream
Or pillows collapsing mid-dream
Sixteen? Eighteen? Twenty
Who knows
When you get older, they all blur and froze
Tall, kinda big — let’s just say wide
Cherubic face with greasy pride

You want a proper description
Precise words, dictionary vision
Go read Dickens…
I speak how we live…

Nobody checks words, we check the web
Pick the spelling with the biggest thread
If the crowd says wrong, then wrong becomes right
And taste gets rewritten overnight
Fashion mistakes become elite
Then suddenly everybody repeats
That’s how elegance lost its socks
And found itself in tasseled loafers on rocks

This oversized kid dressed all in black
Combat boots, no-life on his back
Walking like life’s a video game
Finger on trigger, no face, no name
I can see him on some campus ground
Gunshots echoing all around
Teachers, bullies, girls who said no
A quiet rage ready to blow
But here
In a grooming salon
Even madness feels kinda wrong
Massacre at Happy Dogs headline Pekingese
Great Danes — tragic design
Even terror would pass on that claim
Too absurd for a serious name
Still I hear in my head that sound
Psycho Killer… looping around
Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Everybody waiting at the door
Happy Dogs, Happy Dogs
Humans acting just like dogs

Door unlocks — barking explodes
Pack goes wild, pressure overload
I move first but a woman cuts in
Didn’t see that move coming
No dog, no line — guess she thought
I block her way,
I hold my spot
I was here first, I’m in a rush
She steps aside with a subtle smirk
Dogs behind me, chaos hunt
I’m the prey, they’re the front
Something bites my ankle, quick
I ignore it — just deal with it
Step inside — the smell attacks
Seeping deep through the wallpaper cracks
Dog smell worse than smoke, believe
It never really ever leaves
You can scrub, spray, disinfect
But that scent will still infect
Like a car with a shepherd ghost
Dead for months — still smells the most
Hold my breath, but time runs long
Lungs give up, instinct strong
Grab the package, get out fast
Back to my cave at last

Chains… collars… leather displays
Feels less like pets
More like plays
Happy Dogs
Or something else